My Boring Life

delicatesuicide @ 2006-08-10T12:38:00

2006-08-10T16:39:38Z

not being in control of your life sucks.

i can't even be happy anymore.
it sucks so bad.. i hate this.
why can't i just be happy?
thats all i'm really asking for.

()^&(%^

2006-08-08T10:06:17Z

tonite was practically the worst nite of my life.
i love how people can make jokes about things while someone is absolutely crying they're eyes out.
im glad you guys had a great laugh at my expense.
it means alot to me..i really appreciate it.

life is pretty much shit right now.
i know what i want in life.
it just never works out that way.
i fucking hate this.
why can't i be happy for more than like 2 days at a time?
its really gay.
if anyone has any suggestions on how i can fix this fuck-up that i call my life...im open to anything. nothing can be worse than the way things are going.

delicatesuicide @ 2006-07-15T03:14:00

2006-07-15T07:15:49Z

why the fuck must you keep fucking with my head. like seriously, i would give you the world if i could, and you know that..but it must not be enough. and if that's the case...then flat out say it. dont say we're over, call the next day wanting to talk, and then not talk. stop dragging me along with you. i've done nothing but love you for well over a year, and if its not enough, then stop ripping my heart out day in and day out. please.

delicatesuicide @ 2006-07-07T17:02:00

2006-07-07T21:02:12Z

its been ages.

i've been good.

turned 18.

got my monroe pierced.

crystal broke up with me.

hangout with me someone.

(^&^(&^&*$&(**)&

2006-03-16T06:40:44Z

i dont generally update this thing anymore...
but its a special occasion.

in exactly 1 day and 22 hours and 16 minutes...
crystal and I have been together for a year.
its soo amazing.
i've never been happier.

()&(&^%#&(^%&*#%^

2006-02-10T06:21:31Z

wow...if it hasnt been 30 years since i've updated this thing.

things are going pretty well around here. me and crystal are doing great and its good. i've actually been waking up before 4 oclock everyday which is nice, cause i've been playing basketball with scott and ryan which is good, cause i've actually been getting myself some exercise ya know.

today was much fun. hungout with nina. we went to fells and ate brick oven pizza which i haven't had in ages and it was lovely. umm went to that awesome vintage store and talked to the woman for a while. went to the jewelry store and i found crystal the valentine's day gift i want to get her. then we went into soundgarden and looked at cd's. then we got some coffee, and left. i came home. got changed...went and hungout with crystal. we watched the movie waiting which is pretty much the funniest movie ever. next to the 40 year old virgin. then ryan came over, and we went to the mall to look for spacers for his lip. ate some mcdonalds, went to crystals and watched waiting again. then we went to the pool hall for like 2 hours. now i'm home. all in all a good day.

i haven't actually had a post longer than three sentances in ages..it feels good to actually have something interesting to talk about lol.

()^$(&%&^)(*

2006-01-10T19:01:46Z

YOU
1. Name:
2. Date of birth:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. Do you read my journal?:
7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment?:
10. Favourite place to spend time:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you.

)(^&%)$$()&$(

2006-01-02T23:14:22Z

alrighty so i dont update anymore cause i kinda just dont care about it? w/e thou. umm lets hope 2006 is better than 2005...cause not like last year wasnt bad...but hell...this year should be better. sonar was fun...joe d got smashed...and vomited everywhere. funny shit. umm yeah i havent done anything today...just ate some mcdonalds...thats about it. hanging out with crystal later should be a blast, it always is <3.

yep. now im getting a shower.

delicatesuicide @ 2005-12-16T09:27:00

2005-12-16T14:28:44Z

gosh its been years since i've updated this thingie. umm yeah not much new really. went to the mall yesterday w/ jared/joed/crystal/ryan and it was pretty fun. i need to get money to buy christmas gifts for everyone. cause yeah im broke as hell. well me and joe d are sitting at the college and there's really not a whole lot to do. yes, its 9:30 in the morning and i am awake....so have a heart attack now. <3

()^%%#&()$^&*(#W%#

2005-12-05T17:29:34Z

%&&^^&*60983Q69823YT8PO23QYT9123BYV92-86&$*&^%)^&tr(#v7=01B (*^)&*%&^%&^$&(^*&

new myspace pictures...yep.

http://www.myspace.com/p_d_o_likewhoa

delicatesuicide @ 2005-11-28T15:13:00

2005-11-28T20:14:51Z

well, i've returned from delaware after the weekend. it was pretty boring i must say. no friends, no fugs, no fun basically. so me and my brother played playstation like forever. and the whole point we went was to see a christmas tree lighting. basically, it looked like they threw lights around a 10 bajillion year old tree, not even an evergreen at that, and then turned them on. so out in the cold, for 40 minutes, while stupid delawarians sing christmas carols, just to get dissappointed. very lame. and this year, it wasnt even on the boardwalk, so i'd have places to walk and look at and such. so i returned yesterday, and spent the day with crystal. we ate chinese food, and doritos, and watched tv, and it was nice. i came home, went to sleep madd early. now im bored as sin, and yeah thats about it.

&$^%@$&

2005-11-18T17:51:52Z

for starters, i'd like to say, happy 8 months crystal.
i love you more than life.

ahem. so i've been waking up around 7:30 everyday for the past week which is crazy. idk why but it feels good to actually be awake lol. umm yesterday me and joe and his brother fixed his car, went to my dad's work, then back home. hungout there for a bit, then to walmart for meatballs, socks and hair dye...what a combination let me tell you lol. umm dyed his hair...then hungout with crystal/john/ryan and watched the 50cent movie. pretty good from what i saw. got a little crunk...went home. watched tv then passed out.

umm so yeah thats it. and i just got a shower and me and tephie are going to buy fast food of some kind cause i feel really fat and hungry lol. so yeah theres that. and then im going to the ottobar w/ jared and john to see it dies today and darkest hour. its gonna be pimp.

testicles...that is all.

(&%%^#%$@(&)

2005-11-14T13:16:36Z

so yeah its 8 oclock in the morning and by no means should i be awake at this time.

however, in being awake this early, i did a wonderful thing. i made myself breakfast and a cup of coffee and sat out on my deck and just stared into the field and thought about things. the weather was perfect, like sunny, but chilly. not windy, but still a little cold. not cold enough to freeze, but nice. and the leaves were all different colors and it just calmed me down.

and in thinking about things..i've realized how much of an asshole i've been the past lets say two months or so. im going to list all of the people i've been an asshole to, and then how i plan to change it in the future weeks.

asshole

my family.
my sister personally.
my friends.
my beautiful girlfriend.

changes
as for my family, i really hope to change things. i come home late all the time, i'm never home anymore, sometimes i go out and just dont come home, i sleep all day and do nothing around the house, im a bum basically. so i hope to start helping around the house, being home ontime, being home more often, ect.

as for my sister, she's like my best friend in the world and we dont spend time together like we used to. at least once a weekend we'd get all prettied up and go to a show and hangout all night and have a great time, i feel like we haven't hungout in years and i miss it. i plan to hangout with her soon, and more often for that matter.

as for my friends..im not talking about the friends that i've seen alot lately. im talking about the friends i haven't seen in ages and i miss, like nina bennett, and heather, and timmy heck, ect. i plan to try and hangout with these people as soon as possible.

as for my girlfriend, and probably the biggest one, i've been a complete dick. like not lately, i'm trying to get her to forgive me for all the shit that happened in october. but i still feel like nothing can ever change what i did to her, and it makes me hate myself more and more everyday because of it. she's the most wonderful, smart, funny, beautiful, coolest, just all around the greatest person i've ever met and i feel like i take her for granted sometimes. im going to do everything in my power to show her that she's the most meaningful part of my life, and she always will be everything to me.

and so in closing, i apologize people.

three.:.eighteen.

delicatesuicide @ 2005-11-10T16:36:00

2005-11-10T21:40:32Z

holy shit its been years. so um i quit mcdonalds lately. me and crystal are doing wonderful now and its great. i missed her soo much. <3 three.:.eighteen. i've basically just been sitting at my house all the time, or hanging out with crystal/joed/tim/jared/ryan/john/ect. so um yeah life is good at the moment. although i really need a new job cause in like 6 months i'll have no home...so i think i should save money up for that one lol. yeah thats all today....maybe i'll start updating more often i guess. or not. idk yet.

three.:.eighteen.

(%(&#%^&#%$

2005-10-24T01:20:12Z

well the last week or so of my life has been complete hell. i made mistakes and i feel like a total douchebag because of them. i just wish i could rewind to like..2 weeks ago. and not make these mistakes again..i miss her soo much its unreal. and i dont think she understands how i feel for her. i know what i want now...and its only one person. and she knows who she is.

and on a lesser note...i've since decided today that i want a kid. lol it sounds lame...but i saw this little boy in fells point when i was with nina, and he was with his mom, and he was running around and giggling all happy. and he ran full speed to these steps flailing his arms in the air...and calmly stopped, slowly went down the steps, and began running and playing again. i thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

end of story.

)(**@%^)($&&Q@#@&^^&

2005-10-22T03:53:15Z

sometimes when i'm away i think of you
think of what i'd like to do
when we're alone

but it kills me to know
(it's not a situation)
that you'll never know
(for any expectation)
as far as i know
(a constant complication)
you'll never know

so say you'll stay the day, i want you to
everything depends on you
don't let me go

i wish that i could say i'd stay with you
but you know that that's not true
please let me go

but it kills me to know
(it's not a situation)
that you'll never know
(for any expectation)
as far as i know
(a constant complication)
you'll never know

(hard)
to know what's in your heart so, you're just looking to find
(part)
of what you're saying's not effecting on my soul or my mind

just keep your feet on the ground
even when i'm not around
i won't give up on you

(hard)
to know what's in your heart so, you're just looking to find
(part)
of what you're saying's not effecting on my soul or my mind

(hard)
to know what's in your heart so, you're just looking to find
(it's not a situation for any expectation)
(part)
of what you're saying's not effecting on my soul or my mind
(a constant complication)

you'll never know

*&%#^@$%#&()(#%

2005-10-12T08:58:05Z

i'd really like to know what to do. i get these weird feelings from you, people say things they usually wouldnt say...like "she wouldn't do stuff with so and so to fuck you guys up" as if i had even questioned it in the past. you dissappear for hours and dont come home at night. nobody can get in contact with you. we dont hangout as much as we used to. you dont call anymore. you spend all of your time with jessie now. and on top of all of that... You totally fucking whored me up tonite . i really would just like to know what goes through your head sometimes. it seems like you dont even want to be with me. and since you've been spending all of your time with this other guy, and people give me weird vibes, and thats all i get from you lately, i have to question you faithfulness. do you still want to be with me? what did i do wrong? what's changed? if we dont talk, i'll never know these things. and the fact that NOBODY can fucking get in touch with you just makes it better. you're totally changing and you don't even notice...and if you do notice, then you just don't really give a fuck now do you. everyone notices but you. you quit your job, well actually got jessie to do it for you, you dont go to night school anymore, you're starting to drink alot again, you're out all hours of the night, you dont tell anyone where you are anymore, its gotta fucking stop. i can only stand to put up with soo much. i've never done a thing to hurt you, but it seems like you enjoy making me sad. im sick of it. i'm sick of not seeing you. im sick of being upset. im sick of worrying. im sick of being suspicious, im sick of getting to the point of tears crystal, im just going insane here. im tired of the way you're acting lately. you need a fucking reality check, because guess what, on the 18/19th, you're gonna be 18. you're not a kid anymore, and playing these games and pulling this shit has got to stop. you need to grow up, like seriously you do. i probably sound like an asshole right now, but i dont care anymore.

i care about you. you mean the fucking world to me. i would die to be with you forever. that's how i feel about you. but you've changed. i want the old crystal back. where we spent every waking minute together. never went a day without seeing each other, and i've seen you for 10 minutes of the past like 48 hours.

i can't do this anymore crystal. i really can't. if you don't change the way you're acting, you're going to lose someone. and that someone is me. i hate to say this, and it kills me inside to say this, but i really can't do this anymore. i love you to death, you mean the world to me...i just want you back. thats all, i want the way things used to be. please, please do this for me. i never ask you for anything, and now i finally am. all i want is my girlfriend back. thats all.

i love you to death. and im only saying this because your the only thing in my life that means a damn thing to me anymore. i just want you to realize how you've been lately, and how you need to change. because i just want to spend the rest of my life with you and be happy. you mean more than words can express..and i just want you to know how you're affecting people with this new you attitude. thats all baby.
three.:.eighteen

&(%^^&$^*%$#&

2005-10-06T12:35:33Z

welp im in school, and should be doing research...but i'd rather not. yep. school's gay anyway. umm i havent been doing a whole lot lately...hanging out with crystal..working at fucking mcdonalds...just some regular shit. well thats pretty much it for now, i gotta do some work.

three.:.eighteen.

(&#%^&()(^#%#&$

2005-10-01T07:16:45Z

wow. i haven't actually updated in quite a while. idk, i guess i just really dont have time/want to bother with the computer a whole lot lately. umm, not a whole lot has happened today. or for a while i might say. schools gay, im starting to get back into this slump where i cop all the time...and i dont like it. i just wanna get these fucking two years over with and be done with it, im soo done with the school thing right now.

i didn't go to school today, imagine that. so i couldn't go outside much. i played basketball for a while when my mom wasn't home. then me and joe went to get food and fugs. we stopped by tim's house. had to leave there. was gonna see crystal but we had to leave tim's so i didnt. she walked all the way there from ryan's, and i was gone...and i feel bad because of it. umm we kinda got into a stupid argument thingie over it...it was really stupid and i feel dumb cause of it all.

came home...sat around, went out and pumped joe gas, and got me more fugs. drove around, then came home. played basketball for a little bit, im supposed to beat someone up for my friend..for 10 dollars haha. fun fun. umm...more basketball. came home..sat around yeah thats about it. about to crash cause im dead tired.

things have been odd between me and crystal lately. im not sure what it is, it just seems like lately we've been getting into stupid tiny arguments over the dumbest things imaginable. and we really haven't been hanging out as much as we used to, and i dont like things the way that they are at all right now. like i love her to death, she means the world to me...i just wish things were like they used to be. like over the summer, when we had no worries, no jobs, no school, none of this. we could just hangout and everyone was happy. but no matter what, i still love crystal more than anyone can imagine and i wouldn't change that for the world. and even though things haven't been the best lately baby, we can get through this. we can get through anything together. i love you like crazy. three.:.eighteen.

and i feel that way on everyone, not just the situation with me and crystal. i miss the summer. hanging out with all of my friends, all the time. spending the weekends over timcims getting crunk every weekend. and someone ALWAYS drank too much, and we had to take care of them. at those times, it wasnt good. but in the long run, it was a blast this summer. when everyone got along, and no drama at all. it was good then. i really miss that alot.

wow this is long.

three.:.eighteen until forever.<3

(&#%^&(@$#%^%&

2005-09-22T22:49:21Z

stole this from crystal &hears;

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

delicatesuicide @ 2005-09-20T21:20:00

2005-09-21T01:23:01Z

so i havent updated in a while.
crunk weekend.
six months.<3333
cookout today.
taking care of joe d.
saw heather.
waiting for crystal to be unpunished.
ect.

tomorrow=
crystal
mcdonalds
valerie
hopefully more crystal.

()&%$^&(%))&#%^&#(*)

2005-09-05T23:33:21Z

so um i havent updated in forever.
so here goes.

got crunk last nite with jared and crystal.
vodka and oj=my new fav.

joe d picked me and crystal up.
we dropped her off and went home.

we got him gas, and stole things from citgo.
drove to my house.

left again in like a half hour.
drank pinapple rum and oj.
and its blazin.

drove around the city.
came home, crashed.

woke up, went over crystals.
went to BOP.

went to mcdonalds.
then to crystals.

now im home.
thats it.

(^%&^#%^*&()^579

2005-08-29T03:06:11Z

last nite was fucking stupid.
i didnt think about it.

but all i can say is
i surely enjoyed doing it.

and you fucking deserved it...so there.

fucking school tomorrow.

delicatesuicide @ 2005-08-24T18:45:00

2005-08-24T23:00:32Z

list 20 random facts about yourself::

1. i wish i was taller and thinner.
2. my sister is my very best friend.
3. i really cant stand country music.
4. i am the poorest kid that you know..i guarantee it.
5. i like too many different bands.
6. i think that i eat to much.
7. i used to be a wigger and obsessed with matching my outfits perfectly.
8. sometimes i think that me and my sister were really meant to be twins and that my parents just effed that one up.
9. my hair looks like shit pretty much all the time.
10. if i've never met you, i probably hate you.
11. my favorite food is wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches with just mayonaise and cheese, and fries and a coke with no ice.
12. i really worry about peoples opinions of me.
13. i love to play video games.
14. my friends are the closest thing to me.
15. im running out of things to say.
16. i dont ever want to make new friends in life, the ones i have now are just fine.
17. i want to move to a diferent country eventually.
18. im hungry.
19. im out of things to say...i just said that.
20. did you have fun??

(&()&

2005-08-20T23:06:54Z

so um...not a whole lot has been going on lately. i went to the movies the other night w/ crystal joe d and ashleigh *sp?* we saw four brothers and it was one of the best movies i've ever seen. especially the black guy in front of us..."mhm, thats what im talkin about." lol wonderful. and then we came home...and yesterday i went w/ joe to fells for an interview, and he got the job. then we did nothing...and i hungout with crystal and tim. and then joe came over, and he and tim left. me and crystal sat around w/ her family. then we slept...well i slept on the couch, her in her room, thats what her mom had us do. i woke up, layed with her for a while, and then came home. since then i've played madden, showered, went to the thrift store with joe to look for our mafia outfits, and now im bored. so yeah thats it.

comments??

My Boring Life

delicatesuicide @ 2006-08-10T12:38:00

(*)^&*(%^

delicatesuicide @ 2006-07-15T03:14:00

delicatesuicide @ 2006-07-07T17:02:00

(^&*^(*&^&*$&(**)&

*()&(&^%#&*(^%&*#%^

()*^$*(&*%*&^)(*

)(*^&%)$$()&$*(

delicatesuicide @ 2005-12-16T09:27:00

*()^%%#&*()$^&*(#W%#

delicatesuicide @ 2005-11-28T15:13:00

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